The oldest game

Was life simpler when you were a child? Maybe it looked like it. I would be surprised if you told me that your life before and your life today look the same to you. What changed? Some say adulthood begins with the arrival of real responsibilities. There may be another explanation.

According to the Uncommon Knowledge psychology discussion forum, dissociation is

"the unconscious process of separating certain thoughts or behaviours from a person's identity or belief system."

What does that mean? In less complicated words, it means that the human mind is able to develop at sets of separate beliefs, memories and behaviours. Critical examples of that are split personalities.

In my search for greater understanding, many sources indicated that dissociation does not have to be unconscious or used as a mean of self defense against heavy traumas. Children are known to use dissociation freely through their creativity. Good actors, also, use dissociation to enter their characters' skin.

A way simpler word encompasses this phenomenon: pretend. What a wonderful tool pretending is! In fact, if kids allow themselves to pretend freely through their games (tea party with Teddy!), we adults also pretend on a daily basis, in a more covert fashion. Adults are just a bit pickier, is all, because they cling harder to their own and hard earned identity. Identity is a frame of reference that defines the relation of the me with reality.

Whenever you read a good book or enjoy watching a movie, even when you do the lightsaber's sound, a part of you is pretending. Dungeons & Dragons and other roleplaying games is also a superb example of adults pretending, though many find this antic extreme and childish. Extreme and less childish are the games of pretend some adults revel into, in relation with sex: bondage, domination/submission, cross dressing, erotic hypnosis, role playing (not the same as 'roleplaying'), etc.

Some also refer to this behavior as escape, as it allows individuals to retreat from the daily stress and enjoy life through a less rigid persona. Systematically escaping through an activity can itself become problematic, as it leaves the source of stress untouched, unsolved. Workaholics come to mind.

Use of recreational drugs procures a way to alter perceptions of self and the world around, becoming a great facilitator for dissociation. That facilitation is part of the psychological addiction to mind altering substances. Hardcore alcoholics and addicts who live their lives under effect may be in fact altering their personality, even splitting it from their unwanted sober self, in an attempt to find either confidence or shelter from life's duress, imaginary or real. Not that it brings happiness to anyone, usually.

Can dissociation help to reach happiness? As all parts of a whole individual, it can, given one was to understand it, exercise it and use it wisely. Go ahead, break the mold of your own identity, grow wings and fly! Dare to meditate, dream, create. Step aside of yourself and see the world differently, renewed, even if only for a short moment. The world is a stage where you have the power to write parts of your own script.